As a mom, I’ve had it all: mom guilt and anxiety. Being too attached to my phone. Feeling like I should be doing more, when, in fact, I want to do less.
For the last two weeks, I’ve been pretty down about the helicopter crash in California, which took the lives of parents and their children on their way to a youth basketball game. I’ve always had A LOT of anxiety around my husband traveling with one or both of our kids without me–even if it is just to daycare or to the store and back–so this tragedy awakened my worst fears.
As I read Vanessa Bryant’s statement and saw the photos and videos of her husband, Kobe, and his daughters shared via various media outlets, it is evident that although their family had things many of us could never afford, they were tight, loving and enjoyed the little things like being together, playing, cuddling. I even saw a video of Kobe from the day before the crash, at a local mall, just following his toddler around, watching her explore. No phone out to snap pictures or videos of his own; just an attentive dad living in the moment.
“I have the phone out just in case I need to snap a picture…”
I sure as hell know I’m guilty of having the phone out for really no reason at all or having my laptop open too much (“Just one more email and then mommy can play.”). I’ve been working really hard at cutting down on this, and this tragic accident is a good reminder for me (and maybe you too) that life isn’t just about the big things; it’s the little things that add up.
Vanessa said, “I take comfort in knowing that Kobe and Gigi both knew that they were so deeply loved.” So, I ask you, do the people you love feel this? Do you show it?
We Don’t Always Have to be “Doing”
Life moves too fast. Let’s try not to fall into the trap that we always have to be DOING; often, just being there and being together is enough. It’s the little things you will all remember.
I know that I’ve slowed down quite a bit and no longer feel guilty that I’m not getting “something” done when I’m just sitting with my family, on the couch, snuggling and watching one of our shows together.
For a long time, I felt mom guilt about not having my kids in activities every day of the week or on weekends. But, I’ve always loved the fact that we can eat dinner together each night and just do whatever we wanted as a family on weekends without getting split up and going our separate ways.
I know that as my girls quickly grow up, those days are numbered. Pretty soon, they will have more activities. They will be old enough to hang out with friends after school. We’ll be split up, with me taking one kid to her activity and my husband taking the other to hers.
But for now, I’m enjoying the snuggles, the impromptu “performances” my girls put on at night and all of us being around the table, eating dinner together and talking about our days. I can’t keep them little forever, but I do know that I can help create memories without doing much more than simply paying attention to them.
I’m not perfect, but I don’t have to be…and neither do you. It’s the little things in life that count.